Excuse me while I remove another skelf from my backside.
There’s a danger – as this Scottish Premiership title race goes on – that fence sitting is about to become our new national sport. Certainly, for us press boys, there’s one big, burning question that we’re all trying to avoid.
Just who exactly is going to lift this league trophy come May? The novelty of a rare, three-horse race has got us all flapping and flummoxed.
So fair play to anyone who’s willing to stick their head above the parapet and name their winner. Will the league leaders Hearts recover from Tuesday night’s defeat in Paisley to create history by becoming champions?
Will perennial winners Celtic be inspired by iconic gaffer Martin O’Neill and raise the flag for a fifth successive time? Or will Rangers defy all the odds by recovering from their disastrous start to finish top of the pile under Danny Rohl?
It’s simply too close to call at this stage – especially if the Old Firm win their Wednesday night fixtures against Aberdeen and Kilmarnock respectively. For the next 15 weeks, we can all just sit back and enjoy one of the most exciting run-ins we’ve ever had.
But as for a prediction as to who will be triumphant at the end of the 2025/26 campaign? Don’t expect to find one here. i’ve already changed my mind about as regularly as Derek McInnes’ men are picking up red cards.
No, that would just be foolish at this stage. But I’ll tell you what – I am willing to stick my neck out on NEXT year’s title winner.
That might sound daft given that we’re currently embroiled in a nail-biting finale. But the more you watch and listen to Ibrox gaffer Rohl – and see what he’s trying to do in Govan – you can’t help be impressed.
And that’s why, here and now, I’m tipping Rangers to be champions in 2027, irrespective of what happens in the next few months.
The fact they’re even in this title race given what happened under Russell Martin, is remarkable. But there’s every chance they’ll still come up short this term.
Aside from the gap they still have to close on Hearts – and competing with their Glasgow rivals – Rohl’s side aren’t the finished article yet. Far from it.
Despite a promising £12 million January transfer window splurge, they’re still lacking in creativity and guile in the final third of the pitch.
They’re also still carrying some passengers. Remnants of the ill-fated Martin reign.
Rohl has succeeded in shifting a raft of dead wood out of Ibrox already. But there’s more work to do in the summer.
They’ll make a fist of it this season and might even go on and win it. If they do, their manager’s stock will rise immeasurably.
But if they don’t? The German certainly won’t hit the panic button. That’s not Rohl’s style.
You can’t help feeling that everything that’s happened at the club since he took the job in October will stand him in good stead for another crack it next year.
Clearly, he’s being backed financially by chairman Andrew Cavenagh and 49ers Enterprises.
If Rohl is successful, the Americans will want him at Rangers for the long haul.
And when you look at the squad he’s building, it surely bodes well for the future?
New boys Tuur Rommens, Tochi Chukwuani and Ryan Naderi are all 22 years old with bags of potential, as is winger Djeidi Gassama.
Add to that Nico Raskin, Mohamed Diomande and Emmanuel Fernandez at 24.
Throw in Youssef Chermiti at 21, Connor Barron at 23. Andreas Skov Olsen and Dijon Sterling are still only 26.
Even the teenage loanees – Jayden Meghoma and Mikey Moore – might yet come back for a second stint in Glasgow.
As will one of their own, 19-year-old Findlay Curtis. The elder statesmen will be Jack Butland at 32 and John Souttar – if he signs a new deal – at 29.
Every single one of these players, as well as Rohl, will be better for what they’re experiencing now. All in all, it’s a group that’s been deliberately assembled by him to try and achieve success over a sustained period of time.
It’s not all clicking yet and it was always going to take time. The manager ensured he tightened them up defensively when he came in.
Now, we have to see the next stage in Rohl’s Rangers development with more attacking patterns of play, chance creation – and goals.
But given the progress he’s made so far, would you bet against him achieving it? Compare it to across the city and it’s night and day.
Whether Celtic are champions or not in May, they’re facing up to a monumental rebuild in the summer. A squad revamp on top of finding a new manager and sporting director, all while the fans continually battle the Parkhead board.
By any stretch of the imagination, it’s hard to see them establishing stability and cohesion in such a short space of time.
Then there’s the new title challengers from Gorgie.
This might not be Hearts’ year. If it’s not, will there be a feeling of what might have been?
Will they ever have a better chance again?
The Old Firm sides have endured tortuous campaigns that might not be repeated for a long time.
Backed by Tony Bloom and Jamestown Analytics, Hearts aren’t going away.
Who knows, they might boast an even better team next season. But whether Celtic and Rangers will be as poor? That’s doubtful.
If McInnes loses top stars like Alex Kyziridis and Claudio Braga, will their replacements hit the ground running like they did? Potentially.
But it feels like at Ibrox, most of their squad for a new title tilt are already in place.
Rohl looks and sounds like a man with a plan. Under this guy, it feels like they’ve got a sense of direction and purpose.
They’re actually forward thinking, with an up and coming manager and proper leadership at the top.
Of course, Rangers still have to deliver success. A title and Scottish Cup might just be beyond them this season.
For this title race, it’s too tough to pick a winner. Even the bookies are finding it difficult to separate them.
But next season? Rangers could well be early favourites, even if the odds aren’t out yet.
When they are, I might even get my a**e off this fence and stick a wager on it myself.
Whether Celtic are champions or not in May, they’re facing up to a monumental rebuild in the summer. A squad revamp on top of finding a new manager and sporting director, all while the fans continually battle the Parkhead board.
By any stretch of the imagination, it’s hard to see them establishing stability and cohesion in such a short space of time.
Then there’s the new title challengers from Gorgie.
This might not be Hearts’ year. If it’s not, will there be a feeling of what might have been?
Will they ever have a better chance again?
The Old Firm sides have endured tortuous campaigns that might not be repeated for a long time.
Backed by Tony Bloom and Jamestown Analytics, Hearts aren’t going away.
Who knows, they might boast an even better team next season. But whether Celtic and Rangers will be as poor? That’s doubtful.
If McInnes loses top stars like Alex Kyziridis and Claudio Braga, will their replacements hit the ground running like they did? Potentially.
But it feels like at Ibrox, most of their squad for a new title tilt are already in place.
Rohl looks and sounds like a man with a plan. Under this guy, it feels like they’ve got a sense of direction and purpose.
They’re actually forward thinking, with an up and coming manager and proper leadership at the top.
Of course, Rangers still have to deliver success. A title and Scottish Cup might just be beyond them this season.
For this title race, it’s too tough to pick a winner. Even the bookies are finding it difficult to separate them.
But next season? Rangers could well be early favourites, even if the odds aren’t out yet.
When they are, I might even get my a**e off this fence and stick a wager on it myself.